The Queen of Quok

by L. Frank Baum

　　It was high time this king abandoned his earth life, for he hadlived in a sadly extravagant manner, and his subjects could sparehim without the slightest inconvenience.

　　His father had left him a full treasury, both money and jewels beingin abundance. But the foolish king just deceased had squanderedevery penny in riotous living. He had then taxed his subjects untilmost of them became paupers, and this money vanished in more riotousliving. Next he sold all the grand old furniture in the palace; allthe silver and gold plate and bric-a-brac; all the rich carpets andfurnishings and even his own kingly wardrobe, reserving only asoiled and moth-eaten ermine robe to fold over his threadbareraiment. And he spent the money in further riotous living.

　　Don't ask me to explain what riotous living is. I only know, fromhearsay, that it is an excellent way to get rid of money. And sothis spendthrift king found it.

　　He now picked all the magnificent jewels from this kingly crown andfrom the round ball on the top of his scepter, and sold them andspent the money. Riotous living, of course. But at last he was atthe end of his resources. He couldn't sell the crown itself, becauseno one but the king had the right to wear it. Neither could he sellthe royal palace, because only the king had the right to live there.

　　So, finally, he found himself reduced to a bare palace, containingonly a big mahogany bedstead that he slept in, a small stool onwhich he sat to pull off his shoes and the moth-eaten ermine robe.

　　In this straight he was reduced to the necessity of borrowing anoccasional dime from his chief counselor, with which to buy a hamsandwich. And the chief counselor hadn't many dimes. One whocounseled his king so foolishly was likely to ruin his own prospectsas well.

　　So the king, having nothing more to live for, died suddenly and lefta ten-year-old son to inherit the dismantled kingdom, the moth-eatenrobe and the jewel-stripped crown.

　　No one envied the child, who had scarcely been thought of until hebecame king himself. Then he was recognized as a personage of someimportance, and the politicians and hangers-on, headed by the chiefcounselor of the kingdom, held a meeting to determine what could bedone for him.

　　These folk had helped the old king to live riotously while his moneylasted, and now they were poor and too proud to work. So they triedto think of a plan that would bring more money into the littleking's treasury, where it would be handy for them to helpthemselves.

　　After the meeting was over the chief counselor came to the youngking, who was playing peg-top in the courtyard, and said:

　　"Your majesty, we have thought of a way to restore your kingdom toits former power and magnificence."

　　"All right," replied his majesty, carelessly. "How will you do it?"

　　"By marrying you to a lady of great wealth," replied the counselor.

　　"Marrying me!" cried the king. "Why, I am only ten years old!"

　　"I know; it is to be regretted. But your majesty will grow older,and the affairs of the kingdom demand that you marry a wife."

　　"Can't I marry a mother, instead?" asked the poor little king, whohad lost his mother when a baby.

　　"Certainly not," declared the counselor. "To marry a mother would beillegal; to marry a wife is right and proper."

　　"Can't you marry her yourself?" inquired his majesty, aiming hispeg-top at the chief counselor's toe, and laughing to see how hejumped to escape it.

　　"Let me explain," said the other. "You haven't a penny in the world,but you have a kingdom. There are many rich women who would be gladto give their wealth in exchange for a queen's coronet--even if theking is but a child. So we have decided to advertise that the onewho bids the highest shall become the queen of Quok."

　　"If I must marry at all," said the king, after a moment's thought,"I prefer to marry Nyana, the armorer's daughter."

　　"She is too poor," replied the counselor.

　　"Her teeth are pearls, her eyes are amethysts, and her hair isgold," declared the little king.

　　"True, your majesty. But consider that your wife's wealth must beused. How would Nyana look after you have pulled her teeth ofpearls, plucked out her amethyst eyes and shaved her golden head?"

　　The boy shuddered.

　　"Have your own way," he said, despairingly. "Only let the lady be asdainty as possible and a good playfellow."

　　"We shall do our best," returned the chief counselor, and went awayto advertise throughout the neighboring kingdoms for a wife for theboy king of Quok.

　　There were so many applicants for the privilege of marrying thelittle king that it was decided to put him up at auction, in orderthat the largest possible sum of money should be brought into thekingdom. So, on the day appointed, the ladies gathered at the palacefrom all the surrounding kingdoms--from Bilkon, Mulgravia, Junkumand even as far away as the republic of Macvelt.

　　The chief counselor came to the palace early in the morning and hadthe king's face washed and his hair combed; and then he padded theinside of the crown with old newspapers to make it small enough tofit his majesty's head. It was a sorry looking crown, having manybig and little holes in it where the jewels had once been; and ithad been neglected and knocked around until it was quite batteredand tarnished. Yet, as the counselor said, it was the king's crown,and it was quite proper he should wear it on the solemn occasion ofhis auction.

　　Like all boys, be they kings or paupers, his majesty had torn andsoiled his one suit of clothes, so that they were hardlypresentable; and there was no money to buy new ones. Therefore thecounselor wound the old ermine robe around the king and sat him uponthe stool in the middle of the otherwise empty audience chamber.

　　And around him stood all the courtiers and politicians andhangers-on of the kingdom, consisting of such people as were tooproud or lazy to work for a living. There was a great number ofthem, you may be sure, and they made an imposing appearance.

　　Then the doors of the audience chamber were thrown open, and thewealthy ladies who aspired to being queen of Quok came trooping in.The king looked them over with much anxiety, and decided they wereeach and all old enough to be his grandmother, and ugly enough toscare away the crows from the royal cornfields. After which he lostinterest in them.

　　But the rich ladies never looked at the poor little king squattingupon his stool. They gathered at once about the chief counselor, whoacted as auctioneer.

　　"How much am I offered for the coronet of the queen of Quok?" askedthe counselor, in a loud voice.

　　"Where is the coronet?" inquired a fussy old lady who had justburied her ninth husband and was worth several millions.

　　"There isn't any coronet at present," explained the chief counselor,"but whoever bids highest will have the right to wear one, and shecan then buy it."

　　"Oh," said the fussy old lady, "I see." Then she added: "I'll bidfourteen dollars."

　　"Fourteen thousand dollars!" cried a sour-looking woman who was thinand tall and had wrinkles all over her skin--"like a frosted apple,"the king thought.

　　The bidding now became fast and furious, and the poverty-strickencourtiers brightened up as the sum began to mount into the millions.

　　"He'll bring us a very pretty fortune, after all," whispered one tohis comrade, "and then we shall have the pleasure of helping himspend it."

　　The king began to be anxious. All the women who looked at allkind-hearted or pleasant had stopped bidding for lack of money, andthe slender old dame with the wrinkles seemed determined to get thecoronet at any price, and with it the boy husband. This ancientcreature finally became so excited that her wig got crosswise of herhead and her false teeth kept slipping out, which horrified thelittle king greatly; but she would not give up.

　　At last the chief counselor ended the auction by crying out:

　　"Sold to Mary Ann Brodjinsky de la Porkus for three million, ninehundred thousand, six hundred and twenty-four dollars and sixteencents!" And the sour-looking old woman paid the money in cash and onthe spot, which proves this is a fairy story.

　　The king was so disturbed at the thought that he must marry thishideous creature that he began to wail and weep; whereupon the womanboxed his ears soundly. But the counselor reproved her for punishingher future husband in public, saying:

　　"You are not married yet. Wait until to-morrow, after the weddingtakes place. Then you can abuse him as much as you wish. But atpresent we prefer to have people think this is a love match."

　　The poor king slept but little that night, so filled was he withterror of his future wife. Nor could he get the idea out of his headthat he preferred to marry the armorer's daughter, who was about hisown age. He tossed and tumbled around upon his hard bed until themoonlight came in at the window and lay like a great white sheetupon the bare floor. Finally, in turning over for the hundredthtime, his hand struck against a secret spring in the headboard ofthe big mahogany bedstead, and at once, with a sharp click, a panelflew open.

　　The noise caused the king to look up, and, seeing the open panel, hestood upon tiptoe, and, reaching within, drew out a folded paper. Ithad several leaves fastened together like a book, and upon the firstpage was written:

　　"When the king is in troubleThis leaf he must doubleAnd set it on fireTo obtain his desire."

　　This was not very good poetry, but when the king had spelled it outin the moonlight he was filled with joy.

　　"There's no doubt about my being in trouble," he exclaimed; "so I'llburn it at once, and see what happens."

　　He tore off the leaf and put the rest of the book in its secrethiding place. Then, folding the paper double, he placed it on thetop of his stool, lighted a match and set fire to it.

　　It made a horrid smudge for so small a paper, and the king sat onthe edge of the bed and watched it eagerly.

　　When the smoke cleared away he was surprised to see, sitting uponthe stool, a round little man, who, with folded arms and crossedlegs, sat calmly facing the king and smoking a black briarwood pipe.

　　"Well, here I am," said he.

　　"So I see," replied the little king. "But how did you get here?"

　　"Didn't you burn the paper?" demanded the round man, by way ofanswer.

　　"Yes, I did," acknowledged the king.

　　"Then you are in trouble, and I've come to help you out of it. I'mthe Slave of the Royal Bedstead."

　　"Oh!" said the king. "I didn't know there was one."

　　"Neither did your father, or he would not have been so foolish as tosell everything he had for money. By the way, it's lucky for you hedid not sell this bedstead. Now, then, what do you want?"

　　"I'm not sure what I want," replied the king; "but I know what Idon't want, and that is the old woman who is going to marry me."

　　"That's easy enough," said the Slave of the Royal Bedstead. "All youneed do is to return her the money she paid the chief counselor anddeclare the match off. Don't be afraid. You are the king, and yourword is law."

　　"To be sure," said the majesty. "But I am in great need of money.How am I going to live if the chief counselor returns to Mary AnnBrodjinski her millions?"

　　"Phoo! that's easy enough," again answered the man, and, putting hishand in his pocket, he drew out and tossed to the king anold-fashioned leather purse. "Keep that with you," said he, "and youwill always be rich, for you can take out of the purse as manytwenty-five-cent silver pieces as you wish, one at a time. No matterhow often you take one out, another will instantly appear in itsplace within the purse."

　　"Thank you," said the king, gratefully. "You have rendered me a rarefavor; for now I shall have money for all my needs and will not beobliged to marry anyone. Thank you a thousand times!"

　　"Don't mention it," answered the other, puffing his pipe slowly andwatching the smoke curl into the moonlight. "Such things are easy tome. Is that all you want?"

　　"All I can think of just now," returned the king.

　　"Then, please close that secret panel in the bedstead," said theman; "the other leaves of the book may be of use to you some time."

　　The boy stood upon the bed as before and, reaching up, closed theopening so that no one else could discover it. Then he turned toface his visitor, but the Slave of the Royal Bedstead haddisappeared.

　　"I expected that," said his majesty; "yet I am sorry he did not waitto say good-by."

　　With a lightened heart and a sense of great relief the boy kingplaced the leathern purse underneath his pillow, and climbing intobed again slept soundly until morning.

　　When the sun rose his majesty rose also, refreshed and comforted,and the first thing he did was to send for the chief counselor.

　　That mighty personage arrived looking glum and unhappy, but the boywas too full of his own good fortune to notice it. Said he:

　　"I have decided not to marry anyone, for I have just come into afortune of my own. Therefore I command you return to that old womanthe money she has paid you for the right to wear the coronet of thequeen of Quok. And make public declaration that the wedding will nottake place."

　　Hearing this the counselor began to tremble, for he saw the youngking had decided to reign in earnest; and he looked so guilty thathis majesty inquired:

　　"Well! what is the matter now?"

　　"Sire," replied the wretch, in a shaking voice, "I cannot return thewoman her money, for I have lost it!"

　　"Lost it!" cried the king, in mingled astonishment and anger.

　　"Even so, your majesty. On my way home from the auction last night Istopped at the drug store to get some potash lozenges for my throat,which was dry and hoarse with so much loud talking; and your majestywill admit it was through my efforts the woman was induced to pay sogreat a price. Well, going into the drug store I carelessly left thepackage of money lying on the seat of my carriage, and when I cameout again it was gone. Nor was the thief anywhere to be seen."

　　"Did you call the police?" asked the king.

　　"Yes, I called; but they were all on the next block, and althoughthey have promised to search for the robber I have little hope theywill ever find him."

　　The king sighed.

　　"What shall we do now?" he asked.

　　"I fear you must marry Mary Ann Brodjinski," answered the chiefcounselor; "unless, indeed, you order the executioner to cut herhead off."

　　"That would be wrong," declared the king. "The woman must not beharmed. And it is just that we return her money, for I will notmarry her under any circumstances."

　　"Is that private fortune you mentioned large enough to repay her?"asked the counselor.

　　"Why, yes," said the king, thoughtfully, "but it will take some timeto do it, and that shall be your task. Call the woman here."

　　The counselor went in search of Mary Ann, who, when she heard shewas not to become a queen, but would receive her money back, flewinto a violent passion and boxed the chief counselor's ears soviciously that they stung for nearly an hour. But she followed himinto the king's audience chamber, where she demanded her money in aloud voice, claiming as well the interest due upon it over night.

　　"The counselor has lost your money," said the boy king, "but heshall pay you every penny out of my own private purse. I fear,however, you will be obliged to take it in small change."

　　"That will not matter," she said, scowling upon the counselor as ifshe longed to reach his ears again; "I don't care how small thechange is so long as I get every penny that belongs to me, and theinterest. Where is it?"

　　"Here," answered the king, handing the counselor the leathern purse."It is all in silver quarters, and they must be taken from the purseone at a time; but there will be plenty to pay your demands, and tospare."

　　So, there being no chairs, the counselor sat down upon the floor inone corner and began counting out silver twenty-five-cent piecesfrom the purse, one by one. And the old woman sat upon the flooropposite him and took each piece of money from his hand.

　　It was a large sum: three million, nine hundred thousand, sixhundred and twenty-four dollars and sixteen cents. And it takes fourtimes as many twenty-five-cent pieces as it would dollars to make upthe amount.

　　The king left them sitting there and went to school, and oftenthereafter he came to the counselor and interrupted him long enoughto get from the purse what money he needed to reign in a proper anddignified manner. This somewhat delayed the counting, but as it wasa long job, anyway, that did not matter much.

　　The king grew to manhood and married the pretty daughter of thearmorer, and they now have two lovely children of their own. Once inawhile they go into the big audience chamber of the palace and letthe little ones watch the aged, hoary-headed counselor count outsilver twenty-five-cent pieces to a withered old woman, who watchedhis every movement to see that he does not cheat her.

　　It is a big sum, three million, nine hundred thousand, six hundredand twenty-four dollars and sixteen cents in twenty-five-centpieces.

　　But this is how the counselor was punished for being so carelesswith the woman's money. And this is how Mary Ann Brodjinski de laPorkus was also punished for wishing to marry a ten-year-old king inorder that she might wear the coronet of the queen of Quok.