Ch. 1: Looking Glass House

by Lewis Carroll

　　One thing was certain, that the WHITE kitten had had nothing todo with it:--it was the black kitten's fault entirely. For thewhite kitten had been having its face washed by the old cat forthe last quarter of an hour (and bearing it pretty well,considering); so you see that it COULDN'T have had any hand inthe mischief.The way Dinah washed her children's faces was this: first sheheld the poor thing down by its ear with one paw, and then withthe other paw she rubbed its face all over, the wrong way,beginning at the nose: and just now, as I said, she was hard atwork on the white kitten, which was lying quite still and tryingto purr--no doubt feeling that it was all meant for its good.But the black kitten had been finished with earlier in theafternoon, and so, while Alice was sitting curled up in a cornerof the great arm-chair, half talking to herself and half asleep,the kitten had been having a grand game of romps with the ball ofworsted Alice had been trying to wind up, and had been rolling itup and down till it had all come undone again; and there it was,spread over the hearth-rug, all knots and tangles, with thekitten running after its own tail in the middle.'Oh, you wicked little thing!' cried Alice, catching up thekitten, and giving it a little kiss to make it understand that itwas in disgrace. 'Really, Dinah ought to have taught you bettermanners! You OUGHT, Dinah, you know you ought!' she added,looking reproachfully at the old cat, and speaking in as cross avoice as she could manage--and then she scrambled back into thearm-chair, taking the kitten and the worsted with her, and beganwinding up the ball again. But she didn't get on very fast, asshe was talking all the time, sometimes to the kitten, andsometimes to herself. Kitty sat very demurely on her knee,pretending to watch the progress of the winding, and now and thenputting out one paw and gently touching the ball, as if it wouldbe glad to help, if it might.'Do you know what to-morrow is, Kitty?' Alice began. 'You'dhave guessed if you'd been up in the window with me--only Dinahwas making you tidy, so you couldn't. I was watching the boysgetting in sticks for the bonfire--and it wants plenty ofsticks, Kitty! Only it got so cold, and it snowed so, they hadto leave off. Never mind, Kitty, we'll go and see the bonfireto-morrow.' Here Alice wound two or three turns of the worstedround the kitten's neck, just to see how it would look: this ledto a scramble, in which the ball rolled down upon the floor, andyards and yards of it got unwound again.'Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on as soon asthey were comfortably settled again, 'when I saw all the mischiefyou had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, andputting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, youlittle mischievous darling! What have you got to say foryourself? Now don't interrupt me!' she went on, holding up onefinger. 'I'm going to tell you all your faults. Number one:you squeaked twice while Dinah was washing your face thismorning. Now you can't deny it, Kitty: I heard you! What's thatyou say?' (pretending that the kitten was speaking.) 'Her pawwent into your eye? Well, that's YOUR fault, for keeping youreyes open--if you'd shut them tight up, it wouldn't havehappened. Now don't make any more excuses, but listen! Numbertwo: you pulled Snowdrop away by the tail just as I had put downthe saucer of milk before her! What, you were thirsty, were you?How do you know she wasn't thirsty too? Now for number three:you unwound every bit of the worsted while I wasn't looking!'That's three faults, Kitty, and you've not been punished forany of them yet. You know I'm saving up all your punishments forWednesday week--Suppose they had saved up all MY punishments!'she went on, talking more to herself than the kitten. 'WhatWOULD they do at the end of a year? I should be sent to prison,I suppose, when the day came. Or--let me see--suppose eachpunishment was to be going without a dinner: then, when themiserable day came, I should have to go without fifty dinners atonce! Well, I shouldn't mind THAT much! I'd far rather gowithout them than eat them!'Do you hear the snow against the window-panes, Kitty? Hownice and soft it sounds! Just as if some one was kissing thewindow all over outside. I wonder if the snow LOVES the treesand fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it coversthem up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says,"Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again." And whenthey wake up in the summer, Kitty, they dress themselves all ingreen, and dance about--whenever the wind blows--oh, that'svery pretty!' cried Alice, dropping the ball of worsted to clapher hands. 'And I do so WISH it was true! I'm sure the woodslook sleepy in the autumn, when the leaves are getting brown.'Kitty, can you play chess? Now, don't smile, my dear, I'masking it seriously. Because, when we were playing just now, youwatched just as if you understood it: and when I said "Check!"you purred! Well, it WAS a nice check, Kitty, and really I mighthave won, if it hadn't been for that nasty Knight, that camewiggling down among my pieces. Kitty, dear, let's pretend--'And here I wish I could tell you half the things Alice used tosay, beginning with her favourite phrase 'Let's pretend.' Shehad had quite a long argument with her sister only the day before--all because Alice had begun with 'Let's pretend we're kingsand queens;' and her sister, who liked being very exact, hadargued that they couldn't, because there were only two of them,and Alice had been reduced at last to say, 'Well, YOU can be oneof them then, and I'LL be all the rest.' And once she had reallyfrightened her old nurse by shouting suddenly in her ear, 'Nurse!Do let's pretend that I'm a hungry hyaena, and you're a bone.'But this is taking us away from Alice's speech to the kitten.'Let's pretend that you're the Red Queen, Kitty! Do you know, Ithink if you sat up and folded your arms, you'd look exactly likeher. Now do try, there's a dear!' And Alice got the Red Queenoff the table, and set it up before the kitten as a model for itto imitate: however, the thing didn't succeed, principally,Alice said, because the kitten wouldn't fold its arms properly.So, to punish it, she held it up to the Looking-glass, that itmight see how sulky it was--'and if you're not good directly,'she added, 'I'll put you through into Looking-glass House. Howwould you like THAT?''Now, if you'll only attend, Kitty, and not talk so much, I'lltell you all my ideas about Looking-glass House. First, there'sthe room you can see through the glass--that's just the same asour drawing room, only the things go the other way. I can seeall of it when I get upon a chair--all but the bit behind thefireplace. Oh! I do so wish I could see THAT bit! I want somuch to know whether they've a fire in the winter: you never CANtell, you know, unless our fire smokes, and then smoke comes upin that room too--but that may be only pretence, just to makeit look as if they had a fire. Well then, the books aresomething like our books, only the words go the wrong way; I knowthat, because I've held up one of our books to the glass, andthen they hold up one in the other room.'How would you like to live in Looking-glass House, Kitty? Iwonder if they'd give you milk in there? Perhaps Looking-glassmilk isn't good to drink--But oh, Kitty! now we come to thepassage. You can just see a little PEEP of the passage inLooking-glass House, if you leave the door of our drawing-roomwide open: and it's very like our passage as far as you can see,only you know it may be quite different on beyond. Oh, Kitty!how nice it would be if we could only get through into Looking-glass House! I'm sure it's got, oh! such beautiful things in it!Let's pretend there's a way of getting through into it, somehow,Kitty. Let's pretend the glass has got all soft like gauze, sothat we can get through. Why, it's turning into a sort of mistnow, I declare! It'll be easy enough to get through--' Shewas up on the chimney-piece while she said this, though shehardly knew how she had got there. And certainly the glass WASbeginning to melt away, just like a bright silvery mist.In another moment Alice was through the glass, and had jumpedlightly down into the Looking-glass room. The very first thingshe did was to look whether there was a fire in the fireplace,and she was quite pleased to find that there was a real one,blazing away as brightly as the one she had left behind. 'So Ishall be as warm here as I was in the old room,' thought Alice:'warmer, in fact, because there'll be no one here to scold meaway from the fire. Oh, what fun it'll be, when they see methrough the glass in here, and can't get at me!'Then she began looking about, and noticed that what could beseen from the old room was quite common and uninteresting, butthat all the rest was as different as possible. For instance, thepictures on the wall next the fire seemed to be all alive, andthe very clock on the chimney-piece (you know you can only seethe back of it in the Looking-glass) had got the face of a littleold man, and grinned at her.'They don't keep this room so tidy as the other,' Alice thoughtto herself, as she noticed several of the chessmen down in thehearth among the cinders: but in another moment, with a little'Oh!' of surprise, she was down on her hands and knees watchingthem. The chessmen were walking about, two and two!'Here are the Red King and the Red Queen,' Alice said (in awhisper, for fear of frightening them), 'and there are the WhiteKing and the White Queen sitting on the edge of the shovel--andhere are two castles walking arm in arm--I don't think they canhear me,' she went on, as she put her head closer down, 'and I'mnearly sure they can't see me. I feel somehow as if I wereinvisible--'Here something began squeaking on the table behind Alice, andmade her turn her head just in time to see one of the White Pawnsroll over and begin kicking: she watched it with greatcuriosity to see what would happen next.'It is the voice of my child!' the White Queen cried out as sherushed past the King, so violently that she knocked him overamong the cinders. 'My precious Lily! My imperial kitten!' andshe began scrambling wildly up the side of the fender.'Imperial fiddlestick!' said the King, rubbing his nose, whichhad been hurt by the fall. He had a right to be a LITTLE annoyedwith the Queen, for he was covered with ashes from head to foot.Alice was very anxious to be of use, and, as the poor littleLily was nearly screaming herself into a fit, she hastily pickedup the Queen and set her on the table by the side of her noisylittle daughter.The Queen gasped, and sat down: the rapid journey through theair had quite taken away her breath and for a minute or two shecould do nothing but hug the little Lily in silence. As soon asshe had recovered her breath a little, she called out to theWhite King, who was sitting sulkily among the ashes, 'Mind thevolcano!''What volcano?' said the King, looking up anxiously into thefire, as if he thought that was the most likely place to findone.'Blew--me--up,' panted the Queen, who was still a littleout of breath. 'Mind you come up--the regular way--don't getblown up!'Alice watched the White King as he slowly struggled up from barto bar, till at last she said, 'Why, you'll be hours and hoursgetting to the table, at that rate. I'd far better help you,hadn't I?' But the King took no notice of the question: it wasquite clear that he could neither hear her nor see her.So Alice picked him up very gently, and lifted him across moreslowly than she had lifted the Queen, that she mightn't take hisbreath away: but, before she put him on the table, she thoughtshe might as well dust him a little, he was so covered withashes.She said afterwards that she had never seen in all her lifesuch a face as the King made, when he found himself held in theair by an invisible hand, and being dusted: he was far too muchastonished to cry out, but his eyes and his mouth went on gettinglarger and larger, and rounder and rounder, till her hand shookso with laughing that she nearly let him drop upon the floor.'Oh! PLEASE don't make such faces, my dear!' she cried out,quite forgetting that the King couldn't hear her. 'You make melaugh so that I can hardly hold you! And don't keep your mouthso wide open! All the ashes will get into it--there, now Ithink you're tidy enough!' she added, as she smoothed his hair,and set him upon the table near the Queen.The King immediately fell flat on his back, and lay perfectlystill: and Alice was a little alarmed at what she had done, andwent round the room to see if she could find any water to throwover him. However, she could find nothing but a bottle of ink,and when she got back with it she found he had recovered, and heand the Queen were talking together in a frightened whisper--solow, that Alice could hardly hear what they said.The King was saying, 'I assure, you my dear, I turned cold tothe very ends of my whiskers!'To which the Queen replied, 'You haven't got any whiskers.''The horror of that moment,' the King went on, 'I shall never,NEVER forget!''You will, though,' the Queen said, 'if you don't make amemorandum of it.'Alice looked on with great interest as the King took anenormous memorandum-book out of his pocket, and began writing. Asudden thought struck her, and she took hold of the end of thepencil, which came some way over his shoulder, and began writingfor him.The poor King looked puzzled and unhappy, and struggled with thepencil for some time without saying anything; but Alice was toostrong for him, and at last he panted out, 'My dear! I reallyMUST get a thinner pencil. I can't manage this one a bit; itwrites all manner of things that I don't intend--''What manner of things?' said the Queen, looking over the book(in which Alice had put 'THE WHITE KNIGHT IS SLIDING DOWN THEPOKER. HE BALANCES VERY BADLY') 'That's not a memorandum ofYOUR feelings!'There was a book lying near Alice on the table, and while shesat watching the White King (for she was still a little anxiousabout him, and had the ink all ready to throw over him, in casehe fainted again), she turned over the leaves, to find some partthat she could read, '--for it's all in some language I don'tknow,' she said to herself.It was like this. YKCOWREBBAJ sevot yhtils eht dna ,gillirb sawT' ebaw eht ni elbmig dna eryg diD ,sevogorob eht erew ysmim llA .ebargtuo shtar emom eht dnA She puzzled over this for some time, but at last a brightthought struck her. 'Why, it's a Looking-glass book, of course!And if I hold it up to a glass, the words will all go the rightway again.'This was the poem that Alice read. JABBERWOCKY 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. 'Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!' He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought-- So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. 'And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. 'It seems very pretty,' she said when she had finished it, 'butit's RATHER hard to understand!' (You see she didn't like toconfess, ever to herself, that she couldn't make it out at all.)'Somehow it seems to fill my head with ideas--only I don'texactly know what they are! However, SOMEBODY killed SOMETHING:that's clear, at any rate--''But oh!' thought Alice, suddenly jumping up, 'if I don't makehaste I shall have to go back through the Looking-glass, beforeI've seen what the rest of the house is like! Let's have a lookat the garden first!' She was out of the room in a moment, andran down stairs--or, at least, it wasn't exactly running, but anew invention of hers for getting down stairs quickly and easily,as Alice said to herself. She just kept the tips of her fingerson the hand-rail, and floated gently down without even touchingthe stairs with her feet; then she floated on through the hall,and would have gone straight out at the door in the same way, ifshe hadn't caught hold of the door-post. She was getting alittle giddy with so much floating in the air, and was ratherglad to find herself walking again in the natural way.