Widdershins

by Arthur Quiller-Couch

　　Once upon a time there was a small farmer living in Wendron parish,not far from the church-town. 'Thaniel Teague was his name.This Teague happened to walk into Helston on a Furry-day, when theMayor and townspeople dance through the streets to the Furry-tune.In the evening there was a grand ball given at the Angel Hotel, andthe landlord very kindly allowed Teague--who had stopped too late asit was--to look in through the door and watch the gentry dance theLancers.Teague thought he had never seen anything so heavenly. What with onehindrance and another 'twas past midnight before he reached home, andthen nothing would do for him but he must have his wife and sixchildren out upon the floor in their night-clothes, practising theGrand Chain while he sang--

　　Out of my stony griefsBethel I'll raise!

　　The seventh child, the babby, they set down in the middle of thefloor, like a nine-pin. And the worst of it was, the poor mitetwisted his eyes so, trying to follow his mammy round and round, thathe grew up with a cast from that hour.'Tis of this child--Joby he was called--that I am going to tell you.Barring the cast, he grew up a very straight lad, and in due timebegan to think upon marrying. His father's house faced south, and asit came easier to him to look north-west than any other direction, hechose a wife from Gwinear parish. His elder brothers had gone off tosea for their living, and his sister had married a mine-captain: sowhen the old people died, Joby took over the farm and worked it, anddid very well.Joby's wife was very fond of him, though of course she didn't likethat cast in his looks: and in many ways 'twas inconvenient too.If the poor man ever put hand on plough to draw a straight furrow,round to the north 'twould work as sure as a compass-needle.She consulted the doctors about it, and they did no good. Then shethought about consulting a conjurer; but being a timorous woman aswell as not over-wise, she put it off for a while.Now, there was a little fellow living over to Penryn in thosetimes, Tommy Warne by name, that gave out he knew how to conjure.Folks believed in him more than he did himself: for, to tell truth,he was a lazy shammick, who liked most ways of getting a livingbetter than hard work. Still, he was generally made pretty welcomeat the farm-houses round, for he could turn a hand to anything andalways kept the maids laughing in the kitchen. One morning hedropped in on Farmer Joby and asked for a job to earn his dinner; andJoby gave him some straw to spin for thatching. By dinner-time Tomhad spun two bundles of such very large size that the farmer rubbedhis chin when he looked at them."Why," says he, "I always thought you a liar--I did indeed. But nowI believe you can conjure, sure enough."As for Mrs. Joby, she was so much pleased that, though she feltcertain the devil must have had a hand in it, she gave Tom an extrahelping of pudding for dinner.Some time after this, Farmer Joby missed a pair of pack-saddles.Search and ask as he might, he couldn't find out who had stolen them,or what had become of them."Tommy Warne's a clever fellow," he said at last. "I must see if hecan tell me anything." So he walked over to Penryn on purpose.Tommy was in his doorway smoking when Farmer Joby came down thestreet. "So you'm after they pack-saddles," said he."Why, how ever did you know?""That's my business. Will it do if you find 'em after harvest?""To be sure 'twill. I only want to know where they be.""Very well, then; after harvest they'll be found."Home the farmer went. Sure enough, after harvest, he went to unwindTommy's two big bundles of straw-rope for thatching the mow, and inthe middle of each was one of his missing pack-saddles."Well, now," said Joby's wife, "that fellow must have a real gift ofconjurin'! I wonder, my dear, you don't go and consult him about thatthere cross-eye of yours.""I will, then," said Joby; and he walked over to Penryn again thevery next market-day."'Cure your eyes,' is it?" said Tommy Warne. "Why, to be sure I can.Why didn't you ax me afore? I thought you liked squintin'.""I don't, then; I hate it.""Very well; you shall see straight this very night if you do what Itell you. Go home and tell your wife to make your bed on the roof ofthe four-poster; and she must make it widdershins, turnin' bed-tieand all against the sun, and puttin' the pillow where the feet comeas a rule. That's all.""Fancy my never thinkin' of anything so simple as that!" said Joby.He went home and told his wife. She made his bed on the roof of thefour-poster, and widdershins, as he ordered; and they slept thatnight, the wife as usual, and Joby up close to the rafters.But scarcely had Joby closed an eye before there came a rousing knockat the door, and in walked Joby's eldest brother, the sea-captain,that he hadn't seen for years."Get up, Joby, and come along with me if you want that eye of yoursmended.""Thank you, Sam, it's curin' very easy and nice, and I hope you won'tdisturb me.""If 'tis Tommy Warne's cure you're trying, why then I'm part of it;so you'd best get up quickly.""Aw, that's another matter, though you might have said so at first.I'd no notion you and Tommy was hand-'n-glove."Joby rose up and followed his brother out of doors. He had nothingon but his night-shirt, but his brother seemed in a hurry, and hedidn't like to object.They set their faces to the road and they walked and walked, neithersaying a word, till they came to Penryn. There was a fair going onin the town; swing-boats and shooting-galleries and lillybangerstandings, and naphtha lamps flaming, and in the middle of all, agreat whirly-go-round, with striped horses and boats, and asteam-organ playing "Yankee Doodle." As soon as they started Jobysaw that the whole thing was going around widdershins; and hisbrother stood up under the naphtha-lamp and pulled out a sextant andbegan to take observations."What's the latitude?" asked Joby. He felt that he ought to saysomething to his brother, after being parted all these years."Decimal nothing to speak of," answered Sam."Then we ought to be nearing the Line," said Joby. He hadn't noticedthe change, but now he saw that the boat they sat in was floating onthe sea, and that Sam had stuck his walking-stick out over the sternand was steering."What's the longitude?" asked Joby."That doesn't concern us.""'Tis west o' Grinnidge, I suppose?" Joby knew very little aboutnavigation, and wanted to make the most of it."West o' Penryn," said Sam, very sharp and short. "'Twasn' GrinnidgeFair we started from."But presently he sings out "Here we are!" and Joby saw a white line,like a popping-crease, painted across the blue sea ahead of them.First he thought 'twas paint, and then he thought 'twas catgut, forwhen the keel of their boat scraped over it, it sang like a bird."That was the Equator," said Sam. "Now let's see if your eyes be anybetter."But when Joby tried them, what was his disappointment to find thecast as bad as ever?--only now they were slewing right the other way,towards the South Pole."I never thought well of this cure from the first," declared Sam."For my part, I'm sick and tired of the whole business!" And withthat he bounced up from the thwart and hailed a passing shark andwalked down its throat in a huff, leaving Joby all alone on the widesea."There's nice brotherly behaviour for you!" said Joby to himself."Lucky he left his walking-stick behind. The best thing I can do isto steer along close to the Equator, and then I know where I am."So he steered along close to the Line, and by and by he saw somethingshining in the distance. When he came nearer, 'twas a great giltfowl stuck there with its beak to the Line and its wings sprawledout. And when he came close, 'twas no other than the cock belongingto the tower of his own parish church of Wendron!"Well!" said Joby, "one has to travel to find out how small the worldis. And what might you be doin' here, naybour?""Is that you, Joby Teague? Then I'll thank you to do me a good turn.I came here in a witch-ship last night, and the crew put this spellupon me because I wouldn't pay my footing to cross the Line.A nice lot, to try and steal the gilt off a church weather-cock!'Tis ridiculous," said he, "but I can't get loose for the life o'me!""Why, that's as easy as ABC," said Joby. "You'll find it in any bookof parlour amusements. You take a fowl, put its beak to the floor,and draw a chalk line away from it, right and left--"Joby wetted his thumb, smudged out a bit of the Equator on each sideof the cock's nose, and the bird stood up and shook himself."And now is there anything I can do for you, Joby Teague?""To be sure there is. I'm getting completely tired of this boat: andif you can give me a lift, I'll take it as a favour.""No favour at all. Where shall we go visit?--the Antipodes?""No, thank you," said Toby. "I've heard tell they get up an' dotheir business when we honest folks be in our beds: and that kind o'person I never could trust. Squint or no squint, Wendron's Wendron,and that's where I'm comfortable.""Well, it's no use loitering here, or we may get into trouble forwhat we've done to the Equator. Climb on my back," said the bird,"and home we go!"It seemed no more than a flap of the wings, and Joby found himself onhis friend's back on one of the pinnacles of Wendron Church andlooking down on his own farm."Thankin' you kindly, soce, and now I think I'll be goin'," said he."Not till I've cured your eyesight, Joby," said the polite bird.Joby by this time was wishing his eyesight to botheration; but beforehe could say a word, a breeze came about the pinnacles, and he wasspinning around on the cock's back--spinning around widdershins--clutching the bird's neck and holding his breath."And now," the cock said, as they came to a standstill again,"I think you can see a hole in a ladder as well as any man."Just then the bells in the tower below them began to ring merrily.Said Joby, "What's that for, I wonder?""It looks to me," said the cock, "as if your wife was gettin' marriedagain."Sure enough, while the bells rang, Joby saw the door of his own houseopen, and his own wife come stepping towards the church, leaning on aman's arm. And who should that man be but Tommy Warne?"And to think I've lived fifteen years with that woman, and neverlifted my hand to her!"Said the bird, "The wedding is fixed for eleven o'clock, and 'tis onthe stroke now. If I was you, Joby, I'd climb down and put back thechurch clock.""And so I would, if I knew how to get to it.""You've but to slide down my leg to the parapet: and from the parapetyou can jump right on to the string-course under the clock."Joby slid down the bird's leg, and jumped on to the ledge. He hadnever before noticed a clock in Wendron Church tower; but there onewas, staring him in the face."Now," cried his friend, "catch hold of the minute-hand and turn!"Joby did so--"Widdershins!" screamed the bird: "faster! faster!"Joby whizzed back the minute-hand with all his might."Aie, ul--ul--oo! Lemme go! 'Tis my arm you're pullin' off!"'Twas his own wife's voice in his own four-poster. Joby had sliddown the bed-post and caught hold of her arm, and was workin' itround like mad from right to left."I ax your pardon, my dear. I was thinkin' you was another man'sbride.""Indeed, I must say you wasn't behavin' like it," said she.But when she got up and lit a candle, she was pleased enough.For Joby's eyes were as straight as yours or mine. And straight theyhave been ever since.

　　THE END.