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Difficult Conversations
Difficult Conversations
Oct 8, 2024 10:51 AM

Author:Bruce Patton,Douglas Stone,Sheila Heen

Difficult Conversations

The 10th anniversary edition of the classic guide to handling life's toughest conversations

What is a difficult conversation?

Asking for a pay rise, saying 'no' to your boss or spouse, confronting a friend, apologizing. We all have conversations that we dread and find unpleasant. But can we develop the skills to make such situations less stressful and more productive?

Based on fifteen years of research and consultations with thousands of people, Difficult Conversations pinpoints what works. It teaches us to work through them by understanding that we're not engaging in one dialogue but three:

- The "what happened" conversation (what do we believe was said and done)

- The "feelings" conversation (the emotional impact on everyone involved)

- The "identity" conversation (what does this mean for everyone's opinion of themselves)

Use this ground-breaking, step-by-step book to turn your difficult conversations into positive, problem-solving experiences.

Reviews

Gates' book is compulsively readable. His ambition was to 'cut through the noise' and give consumers better tools for understanding what works, an ambition he meets admirably. It more than that, however. Gates can get an audience with anyone, can marshal almost limitless resources, and is dogged in the detail. The result - particularly in the wake of the Trump presidency - is thrilling

—— Emma Brockes , The Guardian

Of the many books I have come across recently making the case that climate change will be a catastrophe, but we can do something about it, this is the best ... The relentless practicality of the book combined with Gates's firm faith in innovation do not promote despair. He exudes optimism; things will get better, not least because, as John Lennon once sang, they can't get no worse

—— Bryan Appleyard , Sunday Times

It is mostly concerned with solutions rather than problems. This already marks it out as something of an outlier within environmental literature... if you're after an approachable book about what needs to happen next, this is a great place to start

—— Ed Conway , The Times

Bold but well argued ... a compelling explanation of how the world can stop global warming by reducing greenhouse gas emissions effectively to zero... [Gates] is a serious and genuine force for good on climate change

—— Bob Ward , Observer

How to Avoid a Climate Disaster is clear, concise on a colossal subject, and intelligently holistic in its approach to the problem.

—— Adam Vaughan , New Scientist

It all makes for a meaty manifesto which Gates hopes can offer sufficient variety to appeal across political divides and "shift the conversation" away from the polarisation and misinformation that has clouded discussion about climate change up until now.

—— Martin Bentham , Evening Standard

Books about the environment can induce a paralysing despair. The billionaire Bill Gates is a can-do, problem-solving chap, and his book is full of detailed, practical plans

—— The Times

Gates's carefully packaged nuggets of information are not only easy to understand, but they aim to provide the reader with practical tools to engage with the density of climate change information ... What Gates has achieved with his book is something rare in the swelling arena of popular climate literature. The Microsoft co-founder turned philanthropist has compiled a solutions-based strategy that is as informed on the commercial realities of scaling new technologies as it is on the environmental consequences of not doing so.

—— Daniel Murray , The Business Post

The most refreshing aspect of this book is its bracing mix of cold-eyed realism and number-crunched optimism ... Ultimately [Gates's] book is a primer on how to reorganise the global economy so that innovation focuses on the world's gravest problems. It is a powerful reminder that if mankind is to get serious about tackling them, it must do more to harness the one natural resource available in infinite quantity-human ingenuity.

—— Economist

Gates plots out, in patient, simple prose, a pathway that would allow us to reduce carbon emissions from the current 51 billion tonnes a year to zero by 2050.

—— Thomas Jones , London Review of Books

"System change not climate change!" cry the protesters, demanding that we choose between capitalism and a healthy planet. "Oh!" the less ascetically minded among us might pout. "Can't we have both?" Thankfully, according to Bill Gates, we can. In How to Avoid a Climate Disaster he outlines the new technologies we need to fight climate change, and how businesses can help to invent and deploy them. Capitalism is not only capable of stopping climate change, he says, it's also the only way to provide a decent standard of living to the world's poorest.

—— Ben Cooke , The Times Books of the Year

This is an optimistic account of how climate change might be solved without destroying the world's economies in the process.

—— The Times

Cate Sevilla is well placed to give advice on how to survive the ups and downs in any workplace

—— The Irish Post

Does well to remind readers of the action that can be taken to reduce stress and be happier in our jobs

—— Financial Times book of the month

This is the only professional handbook I want or need...Reading her book makes it feel like you're sat across from a friend you can tell anything to before leaving with multiple life-changing revelations -- including how lucky you are to have Cate Sevilla in your life

—— Anne T. Donahue, author of Nobody Cares

I can't think of a better time than the darkness of a covid winter to sit down with this wonderful book and re-assess your relationship to work. Cate Sevilla has a wisdom about the working world that is rare in its depth and sensitivity. She can teach you how to fix a bad work situation--or to spot when it's time to walk away. Her book will teach you how to survive at work without sacrificing your soul - from dealing with bad communication, awful managers, and impending burnout, to setting boundaries and getting organised. Everyone who works has to read this book

—— Hannah Jewell, Washington Post

It's funny and smart and incisive and smashes every narrative we're fed as workers (and women). And it's way beyond being an essential book on work culture; it's an essential feminist text. The women who read this - employees, managers, wherever they are in the structure - will be changed by it. It's nothing short of radical

—— Terri White, Editor of Empire

I can't think of a better time than the darkness of a covid winter to sit down with this wonderful book and re-assess your relationship to work. Cate Sevilla has a wisdom about the working world that is rare in its depth and sensitivity. She can teach you how to fix a bad work situation--or to spot when it's time to walk away. Her book will teach you how to survive at work without sacrificing your soul - from dealing with bad communication, awful managers, and impending burnout, to setting boundaries and getting organised. Everyone who works has to read this book

—— Hannah Jewell, Washington Post

A vivid portrait of clashing Silicon Valley egos

—— Best Books of the Year: Business , Financial Times

Officially, this is the tale of the photo-sharing app Instagram, but it's also a wider story of Silicon Valley - the fragile egos, the feuds, the deals done around fire pits . . . Mark Zuckerberg is the book's sometimes cartoonish villain, ending staff meeting with the cry: "Domination!"

—— Business Books of the Year , SUNDAY TIMES

No Filter is a topical and well-reported account of the rise of Instagram and its takeover by Facebook. But it also tackles two vital issues of our age: how Big Tech treats smaller rivals and how social media companies are shaping the lives of a new generation.

—— Roula Khalaf, Editor of the FINANCIAL TIMES

Bloomberg reporter Sarah Frier chronicles the rise of photo-sharing social network Instagram, from when it was still a location-based app named "Burbn" to the ad-driven juggernaut it is today . . . Frier deftly streamlines from multiple interviews with some of the most high-profile executives, venture capitalists, and most-followed celebrities on Instagram

—— The 10 Best Business Books of 2020 , Fortune

Congressional documents may have told us why Mark Zuckerberg thought he needed to buy Instagram, but No Filter is the inside story of the company that Facebook actually bought. Sarah Frier's book is the definitive account that bridges the gaps between the company Instagram was born as, the company that eventually sold to Facebook for $1 billion, and the company we know today. The intrigue of this origin story will only grow as the status of Instagram - as a brand within Facebook and a player in our daily lives - is sure to change in the decade ahead.

—— Favourite Business Books of 2020 , YAHOO FINANCE

Utterly brilliant . . . It is so fascinating because it works at two levels: there's the personal story of these two founders making it up as they go along . . . and then there's the bigger story of Silicon Valley itself, and the unstoppable pressure to grow and go viral . . . [Frier] explores how Instagram changed society in terms of influencers, and also in terms of what it does to us, when we see these heavily filtered images of perfection in other people's lives - and this is really worth thinking about.

—— Extraordinary Business Book Club

Examines the all-pervasive impact of Instagram and what it says about today's society.

—— Independent.ie
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