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Epic Fail
Epic Fail
Oct 10, 2024 7:33 PM

Author:Mark Leigh

Epic Fail

Herewith a handful of sample entries to tickle your funny bones…

In the 1824 war between Britain and Ashanti (now part of Ghana), the British Redcoats found themselves surrounded by 10,000 fierce Ashanti warriors, and running very low on ammunition. Their commander ordered Charles Brandon, the army’s stores manager, to break open the reserve ammunition he’d ordered. As the Ashanti advanced Brandon began to open the ammunition boxes – only to find he had brought the wrong supplies. They were all full of biscuits.

The grandfather of film star Lana Turner owned a half share in a brand new company that had started bottling a fizzy drink. He thought the drink’s name would affect its saleability and wanted to change it – without success. In frustration and as a protest he sold his 50%. It’s a pity really because Coca-Cola became quite popular…

Italian Vittoria Luise was out driving during a fierce storm in Naples. A huge gust of wind blew his car into the River Sele. The car began to sink, but the calm motorist managed to break a window and swim to safety. He dragged himself onto the riverbank – and it was here that he was hit by a falling tree and killed.

The Times of 19 October 1986 carried the story of Emilio Tarra, a crewmember of the 1986 America’s Cup race, who was driving from Perth towards Adelaide during the Australian leg of the race. En route, his car sideswiped a kangaroo, leaving it sprawled across the road.

Tarra got out of his car and, assuming the kangaroo was dead, decided to take a novelty photograph to show his colleagues. Dressing the kangaroo up in his smart team blazer, he propped it against his car to take its photograph. As he was focusing his camera, the kangaroo, which had only been stunned, woke up and bounded back off into the bush, taking with it the jacket, which contained Tarra’s passport, $2,000 worth of cash and his credit cards.

Reviews

I encourage everyone to read this deeply moving and very important book

—— Angelina Jolie

What could easily be a tale of despair and defeat becomes, through simple and poweful prose, a celebration of courage and humanity

—— The Times

A rich narrative that explores the ravages of war and strength of family bonds . . . far too relevant to our own time

—— Amnesty International

Heart-rending and eloquent . . . A moving reminder of human resiliency and the power of family bonds

—— Newsweek

Change the names of the characters, give them another country of origin, and this story of dislocation becomes a tragedy millions of immigrants have lived through but seldom talk about

—— Washington Post

Both stories - Loung's told in her own voice and Chou's narrated in the third person - are inherently fascinating and are recounted with a vividness and immediacy that make them even more so. Written with an engaging vigour and directness, [After They Killed Our Father] is an unforgettable portrait of resilience and largeness of spirit

—— Los Angeles Times

A searing account of the aftermath of Khmer Rouge's brutality . . . this self-assured, moving memoir is a testament to the human spirit's resistance

—— Financial Times Magazine

For those wanting a more grown-up experience of the Tudor past, there are few better places to start the Leanda de Lisle’s new study. Many have told this story before. What makes de Lisle’s account so fresh is her decision to start her “family story” not in 1485… but three generations earlier… Rarely has [this] story been told as well as here

—— John Adamson , Mail on Sunday

Her compellingly written book not only illuminates obscure family members... but also provides fresh perspectives on some of the most familiar figures in our history... a work that elegantly combines wide-ranging research with fluent narrative

—— Nick Rennison , Sunday Times (Culture)

De Lisle’s masterful command of the facts – great and small – provides a complete and entertaining overview

—— Giles Tremlett , Observer

A vibrant reappraisal of this turbulent family saga

—— Anne Somerset , Spectator

Full of subtle revelations and fascinating detail... fine storytelling and thought-provoking analysis

—— Linda Porter , Literary Review

It is…greatly to the credit of Leanda de Lisle that her new book on the Tudors as a family is so admirably balanced and accomplished, and full of subtle revelations and fascinating detail. The familiar faces are all here but their story is told with new insights… Fine storytelling and thought-provoking analysis

—— Linda Porter , Literary Review

[An] illuminating portrait of our most famous royal family

—— Sunday Times

Highly readable but no less scholarly

—— Lesley McDowell , Independent on Sunday

Wonderful, passionate, dangerous, fascinating stuff. I couldn't put it down

—— Julian Fellowes

Leanda de Lisle has the gift of reminding us that history is the story of real people; real men, real women, full of rage and ambitionand lust and hope and love. The Tudors are already our most vivid dynasty, by quite a long chalk, but these pages render them more vivid still. This was an age when the game was worth the candle, when a chance remark could result in a crown or the axe. Wonderful, passionate, dangerous, fascinating stuff. I couldn't put it down

—— Julian Fellowes

This fresh take on the Tudor dynasty is history at its best... an engaging and well-sourced account, sprinkled with provocative anecdotes that will appeal to both scholars and general readers... This compelling tale is driven by three-dimensional people and relationships, and de Lisle does a fantastic job of making them feel lived and dramatic

—— Publishers Weekly

Reveals an entirely new perspective on one of England's most fascinating dynasties

—— Mary Lussiana , Country & Town House

A very lucid, entertaining and excellent read

—— Suzannah Lipscomb , History Today

A thrilling, intelligent and fresh royal history that sweeps from the family’s unlikely beginnings in the 1420s to their apotheosis under Elizabeth

—— Dan Jones , Telegraph

The compelling story of the Tudors is vividly brought to life in de Lisle's narrative

—— Discover Britain

This should now be the go-to book for those looking for a broad understanding of the Tudors

—— Chris Skidmore , BBC History Magazine

De Lisle's energy and stamina in this vast operation are truly impressive. What is more, she tells an often thrilling story with great dexterity... Altogether, this remarkable achievement puts de Lisle firmly in the front rank of popular historians of the period

—— John Jolliffe , Catholic Herald

Unlike many books that claim to tell the story of the Tudors, but focus mainly on four characters (namely Henry VIII and his three children who all ruled England after him), this excellent book includes so many members of the Tudor family who may not always be forgotten, but are often sidelined

—— Good Book Guide
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