Author:Jane Fallon,Zoe Telford
Penguin presents the audiobook edition of Getting Rid of Matthew by Jane Fallon, read by Zoe Telford.
What to do if Matthew, your secret lover of the past four years, finally decides to leave his wife Sophie and their two daughters and move into your flat, just when you're thinking that you might not want him anymore . . .
PLAN A: Stop shaving your armpits. And your bikini line. Tell him you have a moustache that you wax every six weeks. Stop having sex with him. Pick holes in the way he dresses. Don't brush your teeth. Or your hair. Or pluck out the stray hag-whisker that grows out of your chin. Buy incontinence pads and leave them lying around.
PLAN B: Accidentally on purpose bump into his wife Sophie. Give yourself a fake name and identity. Befriend Sophie. Actually begin to really like Sophie. Snog Matthew's son (who's the same age as you by the way. You're not a paedophile). Buy a cat and give it a fake name and identity. Befriend Matthew's children. Unsuccessfully. Watch your whole plan go absolutely horribly wrong.
Getting Rid of Matthew is the sharp and hilariously funny novel from Jane Fallon.
Praise for Jane Fallon
—— -Chick lit with an edge
—— GuardianA brilliant and original tale
—— SunIntelligent, edgy and witty
—— GlamourI love Fallon, she's in a category all of her own - her books are great fun and her characters are fabulous, believable women who take no nonsense
—— Marian Keyes , Daily MailLashings of excitement, colour and subtlety
Vivid, engaging, densely plotted - are almost certainly destined to be counted among the classics of popular fiction
—— - , New York Times'A glorious panorama of medieval times . . . The historical research is impeccable'
—— - , Sunday ExpressEvokes the perfect summer romance
—— Cornwall LifeThe perfect summer romance
—— Cornwall LifeIt's full of Cornish colour and a plot that seems plausible from your deckchair
—— Peterborough Evening TelegraphPraise for Catherine Alliott
—— -Compulsively readable
—— The TimesHer writing is both intelligent and sparkling
—— Marian KeyesWarm, witty and wise
—— Daily MailA huge treat. Hilarious yet poignant
—— Sophie KinsellaHilarious and full of surprises
—— Daily TelegraphAn addictive cocktail of wit, frivolity and madcap romance
—— Time OutClassy, wonderfully gossipy and breathless
—— RedThe perfect literary beach-read; both gripping and dripping with glamour. Rachel Rhys is a natural successor to Patricia Highsmith.
—— Red OnlineSUMMER READING PICK
—— Nina Pottell , PRIMAJULY'S BEST NEW BOOKS: A dissatisfied wife receives a mysterious bequest, setting her off on a journey filled with excitement and danger
—— StylistRachel Rhys really knows how to keep you guessing. As the mystery plays out she throws in a dash of romance to go along with the perfect evocation of the decadent time and place. You need this on your sun lounger this summer.
—— Sunday PeopleAmid the sun and glamour, there's skulduggery afoot in this perfect poolside book.
—— Red MagazineWith dreamlike descriptions of the Cote d'Azur and the dark underworld of those who live there, it is an addictive page-turner. The perfect summer holiday read.
—— The Lady[A] high-octane, heart-pounding read.
—— Good HousekeepingThis is a fantastic book - glamorous and beautifully written.
—— Wendy Holden , Daily MailA transporting golden-age infused mystery caper
—— Sunday TimesThis atmospheric page-turner is filled with intrigue, death-defying encounters, smooth talking charmers and even has a larger-than-life Hollywood movie star .. a fabulous summer read
—— Daily ExpressThis atmospheric page-turner is filled with intrigue... The colourful detail of heavenly scents, exotic flora, blazing blue skies and azure sear adds to the escapist fun... It should be enjoyed in the hot sun with a cool cocktail to hand.
—— Sunday ExpressBeautiful, life-affirming stories that whisk you away and make you fall in love
—— Miranda DickinsonTender. A beautiful festive tale of a girl in search of a family for Christmas
—— My WeeklyA sweeping historical novel that opens in the waning days of the Ottoman Empire… The Parisian calls to mind a 19th-century novel.
—— New York TimesComplex, subtle and challenging… [The Parisian is] excelling––with a powerful ending that is moving in the way it knits together the themes of self-betrayal and social and political treachery.
—— Gareth Jenkins , Socialist WorkerReconciling oneself with the pain and pleasure of the ties that bind one to certain people and places is something that lies at the heart of Hammad’s novel… the world Hammad paints is a rich one.
—— Lucy Scholes , iHammad… convincingly weaves the conversations and arguments around the Palestinian table, inviting the reader to join the friends and family who are full of complexity and humanity, and refuse to be defined by the tragedy that is befalling them… To read The Parisian is to gradually get to know a friend, like drinking tea with a favourite uncle and hearing about family stories, gossip and politics.
—— Tanushka Marah , Middle East EyeEscapism in the form of adventure and sisterhood. This is a novel with real depth and feeling and touches on worker's rights, racism, environmentalism and education
—— iThis tribute to female friendship and the joy of books is a compelling read
—— Woman's WeeklyA captivating tale of love, friendship and self-actualisation
—— PeopleEscapism in the form of adventure and sisterhood. A novel with real depth and feeling. Empowering
—— Press AssociationAn exploration of people's cruelty and also their kindness
—— Ruth Junes , Good HousekeepingThe author of Me Before You pulls off a cracker with this stirring, exciting adventure story inspired by true events, in depression-era Kentucky, women find freedom and friendship by joining a brigade of horseback librarians
—— BestJojo Moyes is back with another page turner. Inspired by a remarkable true story, The Giver of Stars features five incredible women who will prove to be every bit as beloved as Lou Clark, the unforgettable heroine of Me Before You
—— StellarJoyous. Pucky female characters and wonderful writing. This is her best
—— Good HousekeepingAbout five extraordinary women in 1920s Kentucky, who worked on horseback as travelling librarians
—— Woman & HomeAn enthralling read based on a true story
—— My Weekly Special SeriesOne to get lost in. Escape with this book and follow the story of five women who are embarking on a powerful journey - and refuse to obey any man's commands!
—— No. 1 Magazine, Books to cosy up with this winterA brand-new page-turner . . . based on a true story and tracks five feisty women living in America during the Great Depression
—— That's LifeJojo Moyes is back with this tale based on the real-life horseback librarians of Kentucky
—— Hello!Took me to the mountains of depression-era Kentucky where brave women librarians risked all to deliver books on horseback
—— Damian Barr, Big Issue Books of the YearCelebrates the world of books . . . A fictional yarn about a quintet of extraordinary intrepid women from disparate backgrounds
—— RTE GuideFrom the very first page, I was drawn into the world and the characters that Jojo Moyes has so carefully created
—— Health & WellbeingA fabulous adventure story
—— BestPraise for Jojo Moyes
—— -Moyes somehow manages to break your heart before restoring your faith in love
—— Sunday ExpressRaw, funny, real and sad, this is storytelling at its best
—— Marie ClaireImmensely readable and enjoyable
—— Sunday TimesThis truly beautiful story made us laugh, smile and sob like a baby - you simply have to read it
—— CloserWonderfully written and completely engrossing, with exquisitely drawn characters in a brilliantly plotted narrative
—— Daily MailA heart-stopping read. Destined to be the novel that friends press upon each other
—— Independent on SundayBritain's best contemporary female author
—— Sun on SundayThe storytelling treads the delicate balance between heartbreak and hope perfectly
—— Good HousekeepingA triumph
—— HeatA tender, funny and hopeful look at love, grief and life. Bumper box of tissues required
—— StylistJoyful, with a pitch-perfect ending
—— Daily ExpressJulia Whelan is perfect as Alice Wright
—— The Times, Pick of the AudiobooksConcentrates on sisterhood and friendship
—— Scotsman, Best books to give this ChristmasA sweeping story of female friendship with a dash of romance, set in 1930s Kentucky
—— Daily ExpressHer writing is beautiful and whimsical with unique storylines
—— Liv Arnold, author of Etched in StoneThis most recent book of Jojo's is her best . . . I loved this adventure story for girls for its plucky female characters and wonderful writing
—— Good Housekeeping