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The Four Thoughts That F*ck You Up ... and How to Fix Them
The Four Thoughts That F*ck You Up ... and How to Fix Them
Jan 13, 2025 2:46 AM

Author:Daniel Fryer

The Four Thoughts That F*ck You Up ... and How to Fix Them

Whatever life throws at you, learn to deal with it in a healthier and more rational way.

When it comes to destructive emotions and unhelpful behaviours, you are your own worst enemy. Rather than people or situations driving you to depression, distraction or doughnuts, all too often it’s your own unhealthy beliefs and thought habits that hold you back and f**k everything up. But, what can you do about it?

Highly Experienced REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) psychotherapist Daniel Fryer can stop these thoughts from messing up your life using a simple but effective model.

In The Four Thoughts that F**k You Up … And How to Fix Them he reveals the four unhealthy beliefs that hold you back (Dogmatic Demands, Dramas, I Can’t Copes and Pejorative Put-Downs) and shows you how to replace them with four healthy beliefs (Flexible Preferences, Perspectives, I Can Copes and Unconditional Acceptance) – in as little as six weeks. Yes, you read that right: Just six weeks to a new you.

Developed in the mid-fifties by psychotherapist Albert Ellis, REBT is known as the first form of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). Not only is it an effective therapy, but it’s also an excellent philosophy for every day life. With this model, Daniel will help you identify a specific personal challenge and then reframe how you react to it, leading to a calmer, happier you. This approach is especially helpful if you struggle with stress, anxiety, depression, anger or self-doubt, or if you want to improve your relationships with family, colleagues and peers or, simply, yourself.

When you free your mind from the thoughts that f**k you up, you’ll never look at anything the same way again. Want to get started?

Reviews

Banish those toxic thoughts for good

—— The Sun

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—— Valter Longo, PhD, author of the international bestseller, The Longevity Diet

I saw the end of the world in her eyes. I knew she was in there somewhere but she was being held prisoner by her mind and we were all helpless to it. Sometimes things happen to us which means we can save other people, my own experience with mental health helped save her and now here she is about to save a whole generation of women!

—— Adele

A humblingly honest and human war-report from the front lines of mothering, psychosis and recovery: there is no other book like it, and it is so desperately needed.

—— Caitlin Moran

Amazing. This book is proof that although Laura’s mind was her undoing, it is also an incredible asset which is going to help so many people.

—— Clemmie Telford

Laura’s raw, honest book gets to the core of postpartum psychosis. Her style is blunt, graphic, diary-like, unflinchingly confessional - at times so colloquial that we feel we know her, or we want to know her: for her bravery in writing this book, for her humanity, for her sisterhood. She has emerged with a greater understanding of self, with deeper compassion for those who suffer from mental illness, and with a determination to combat stigma and ignorance by speaking out. Ultimately I hope this book will give women and their families confidence that the brain and body will heal. And I hope it will encourage other women to speak out.

—— Dr Jessica Heron, CEO, Action on Postpartum Psychosis

An incredibly powerful book. Brave, brilliant and so, so important.

—— Jessie Ware

This book will bring hope to many women and their partners who have struggled with their mental health during this already nerve-wracking and overwhelming time.

—— Becca Maberly, @AMotherPlace

Raw, powerful, visceral: this book has so much to offer to anyone who reads it, whether they be a pregnant woman, new mother, partner, midwife, or someone recovering from mental illness. It is so important on so many levels to hear experiences like Laura’s to widen our understanding of these issues and how they can affect us.

—— Isabelle Bourton, midwife

I cried, laughed and cried again. It’s therapeutic to read and bloody amazing. This book will help to raise awareness and help people understand what it’s like to go through this, to see light at the end of the tunnel and know you won’t always feel like this.

—— Jessie Hunt, postpartum psychosis survivor

I absolutely loved this book. It’s so honest I related to the rawness of it all. There was so much I could identify with.

—— Helen Grimes, postpartum psychosis survivor

An important book and I have no doubt it will have a significant impact.

—— Dr Chi-Chi Obuaya, Psychiatrist

This is a generous, humane, brave gift of a book. Its guts and humour spoke to me loud and clear. I wept for Laura, women I love, and ones I’ve never met, many times throughout. There’s a conspiracy of silence around so many of areas of birth and new motherhood, and Laura is breaking the glass ceiling of it, with glorious honesty, humour and humility. I salute you, Laura - you’re a fucking warrior!

—— Sophie Dahl

A humblingly honest and human war report from the front lines of mothering, psychosis and recovery: there is no other book like it, and it is so desperately needed.

—— Giovanna Fletcher

This moving book was a pleasure to read and I didn't want to put it down. If anyone is going through a similar experience it will make them feel less alone.

—— Philippa Perry

Dockrill's raw yet ultimately hopeful account of her experience with postpartum psychosis shines an important light on a rarely discussed experience.

—— iNews

Bold, brave and raw, it must have taken immense courage to write this phenomenal memoir… It’s a tough read, but hugely inspiring…told with a winning dash of humour, and provides desperately needed insight into postnatal mental health

—— Eithne Farry , UK Press Syndication

What Have I Done? is heartbreaking and brutal in its honesty, and it is remarkable that Dockrill has managed to wring black comedy out of so much suffering… [the book] offer[s] a hand of solidarity to other women, as well as the assurance that there is a way through

—— Stephanie Merritt , Observer

I tore through EXPECTATION at the weekend. Exceptional gorgeously written and reads like a love letter to London. I highly recommend it

—— STACEY HALLS, bestselling author of THE FAMILIARS

I absolutely loved this. What really appealed to me was the depiction of the parents, about legacy and about what the mother's generation leaves for the one that comes after

—— ANNE YOUNGSON

An intimate and touching portrayal of female friendship that shows it's okay to just be

—— NINA POTTELL

So fresh, human, kind and relatable

—— JENNY COLGAN

Such a dark, relatable, elegant take on how time alters female friendships: how we become THESE people and our friends become THOSE people. Anyway, I loved it. You probably will, too

—— LIZA KLAUSSMANN, author of Tigers in Red Weather

A must-read. Will make you want to hug the women in you life

—— FABULOUS MAGAZINE Book of the Year

A deftly crafted hymn to the comfort and frustration of female friendship from one of our most gifted contemporary writers

—— WATERSTONES

Sensual and evocative, deeply attuned to both the inner lives of the protagonists

—— CULTUREFLY

The prose is beautiful, the characters achingly real, their flawed decisions enraging and yet somehow still relatable. This wonderful book will resonate with every woman who reads it

—— LOUISE O'NEILL

A quietly political story that suggests historic battles have left women with new impossible burdens of expectation. A marvellously tangy London novel

—— DAILY MAIL

Hope beautifully examines how female friendship, its issues entirely relatable, ebbs and flows over time in this wise and engaging read

—— SUNDAY EXPRESS

Hugely absorbing, massively enjoyable

—— LISSA EVANS

A deftly crafted hymn to the comfort and frustration of female friendship from one of our most gifted contemporary writers

—— WATERSTONES

Sensitive, resonant, addictive

—— DAILY MIRROR

A story that resonates with anyone who has tried and failed and tried again as they contemplate that gap between what is possible and what is not.

—— RTE GUIDE

Compulsive and beautifully told storytelling - an ode to 21st century London and an examination of the pressures of modern society

—— IRISH TIMES Book of the Year

completely redefines the friendship novel. I am in awe of the way Anna Hope captures what it means to be a woman, right here, right now.

—— RED MAGAZINE Book of the Year

Hope is adept at characterisation. The friends are fantastically well-realised.

—— Daily Times

The story of 3 college friends, if you're a fan of Sally Rooney, you'll love EXPECTATION

—— Irish Examiner

A grown-up, honest take on female camaraderie. Packed with talking points

—— Mail on Sunday

Fantastic. Beautifully written, sharply observed and saying important things

—— ELIZABETH DAY

BOOK OF THE YEAR. It's the book we're all buying for our sisters and besties this Christmas.

—— Fabulous

Brings to vivid life that particular tension one feels just before middle age, when it begins to become clear that life won’t end up looking exactly they way we thought it would. An outstanding novel

—— MARY BETH KEANE

Anna Hope's beautifully observed study of female friendship is a moving account of the collision between aspiration and reality

—— DAILY MAIL

Fantastically well-realised portrait of female friendship's joys and pains from an exciting new voice in British fiction

—— DAILY TELEGRAPH
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