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The Gardener and the Carpenter
The Gardener and the Carpenter
Oct 8, 2024 2:40 AM

Author:Alison Gopnik

The Gardener and the Carpenter

Selected as a Book of the Year by the Financial Times

‘The Gardener and the Carpenter should be required reading for anyone who is, or is thinking of becoming a parent’ Financial Times

Caring deeply about our children is part of what makes us human. Yet the thing we call ‘parenting’ is a surprisingly new invention. In the past thirty years, the concept of parenting and the huge industry surrounding it have transformed childcare into obsessive, controlling, and goal-orientated labour intended to create a particular kind of child, and therefore a particular kind of adult.

Drawing on the study of human evolution and her own cutting-edge scientific research into how children learn, Gopnik shows that although caring for children is profoundly important, it is not a matter of shaping them to turn out a particular way. Children are designed to be messy and unpredictable, playful and imaginative, and to be very different both from their parents and from each other. The variability and flexibility of childhood lets them innovate, create, and survive in an unpredictable world. ‘Parenting’ won't make children learn – but caring parents let children learn by creating a secure, loving environment.

In The Gardener and the Carpenter, the pioneering developmental psychologist and philosopher Alison Gopnik argues that the familiar twenty-first-century picture of parenting is profoundly wrong – it's not just based on bad science, it's bad for children and their parents too.

Reviews

The Gardener and the Carpenter should be required reading for anyone who is, or is thinking of becoming a parent ... Gopnik's science-based assertion is a welcome corrective to the prevailing culture of coaching and tutoring children

—— Isabel Berwick , Financial Times

[An] elegantly readable and thoughtful book… It should be required reading for anyone involved in educational reform.

—— Lara Feigel , Observer

[A] thoughtful book… Gopnik shines when she describes the intricate world of children’s play… This is a lovely book, and the life’s work that animates it, will only deepen that bond, helping our children to flourish

—— Erika Christakis , Washington Post Sunday

[A] fascinating and passionate diatribe.

—— Bee Wilson , Guardian

Gopnik's book seems a welcome burst of common sense ... fascinating.

—— New Scientist

The Gardener and the Carpenter is warm, humane and perceptive.

—— Charlotte Moore , Spectator

Thought provoking

—— Claire Fox , Independent

[The Gardener and the Carpenter] calls into question the modern notion that good parents can mold their children into successful adults ... Gopnik writes with an approachable style and straightforward language ... Children are not supposed to become like their parents; they learn from them to create something new. Each generation is different from the ones before. And that, Gopnik suggests, is the whole point of being human.

—— Boston Globe

Deeply researched ... [Gopnik's] approach focuses on helping children to find their own way ... She describes a wide range of experiments showing that children learn less through 'conscious and deliberate teaching' than through watching, listening, and imitating.

—— Nature

What a relief to find a book that takes a stand against the practice of “helicopter parenting” so prevalent today . . . [The Gardener and the Carpenter] not only dispels the myth of a single best model for good parenting but also backs up its proposals with real-life examples and research studies . . . This book will provide helpful inspiration for parents and may prompt some to rethink their strategies.

—— Publishers Weekly (starred review)

Immensely though-provoking account.

—— Caroline Sanderson , Bookseller

It’s hard to think of a book that has more to say to our society… Read it. It will change your life.

—— WI Life

Gopnik shows a particularly sensitive grasp of the unique dynamics of the intergenerational relationship of care between parents and children.

—— Jan Macvarish , Spiked

At My Table is an instantly lovable collection of recipes that are simple, accessible and unfailingly delicious.

—— Waitrose Food , Ashleigh Arnott

No one is better at reminding us that cooking is about eating and eating is about sharing.

—— Julia Platt Leonard , Independent

An alluring reminder of what a fine recipe writer – indeed, writer – she is.

—— The Observer

The domestic goddess’s latest book is a wonderful reflection of contemporary British food – a mouthwatering melting pot of flavours and influences that give rise to sprouts with preserved lemon and pomegranate, and slow roast five-spice lamb with Chinese pancakes. There are also anecdotes and advice, delivered in her usual pally fashion.

—— Claire Coleman , Metro

An exceptional and beautifully written book about how love - changed but yet unchanged - friendship, frustration, deep despair and delight, can all be experienced in the same day...If you buy one book this summer, make it this one

—— Irish Times

Absolutely brilliant… I highly recommend it – inspirational

—— Sean O'Rourke , Today with Sean O'Rourke

Uplifting and inspiring

—— Woman & Home

As poetic as it is devastating

—— i

Like the sea, the writing in this terrific debut is both bracing and beautiful

—— Bookseller

Like the Irish sea that laps the coast at Greystones, Co Wicklow, this extraordinary, beautifully written book ebbs and flows with love amid the crises of daily life… It’s a powerful, memorable and life-affirming read

—— Choice

A heartbreaking work of shimmering beauty that charts her own place in the world… As astounding as it is inspirational

—— Donal O'Donoghue , RTE Guide

This is far from a desperate tale and a plea for pity. It is an often uplifting and funny account of learning to dealing with hardship and how resilient and adaptable we can be in testing times

—— Jude Brosnan , Wanderlust Travel Magazine

A true-to-the-bone and life affirming account of her life with a husband with MND, 5 young kids and her addiction to swimming in the Irish sea every day

—— Al Porter , Today FM

Her beautiful, sparse prose gets to the very essence of what is happening with the various tribes. It is a moving book too, with several poignant moments. She is one tough lady

—— Paul Cheney , Nudge

If ever there was a lesson in living the fullest, most passionate life you can, this is it! I Found My Tribe is one of the most moving memoirs I have ever read. Living with her husband Simon, who was diagnosed with motor neuron disease and her five children, Ruth Fitzmaurice writes so honestly and vividly about her family's life that you will think about the Fitzmaurice's long after you have turned the final page. It is beautifully written with clever descriptions and vivid imagery that will take your breath away. Writing to the background noise of Simon's medical machines, twenty four hour carers and five children, Ruth candidly writes about her life as she navigates various different themes including grief, friendship and love and the strength she has in the face of adversity… I found my tribe is an uplifting powerful memoir that will make you laugh and cry in equal measures. I urge everyone to read it

—— Adele O'Neill , Irish Independent

Beautiful…There is huge passion in Fitzmaurice’s writing.

—— Sophie White , Image Magazine

A surprisingly uplifting read

—— Arifa Akbar , Observer
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