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The Other Side of Happiness
The Other Side of Happiness
Oct 10, 2024 12:31 PM

Author:Brock Bastian

The Other Side of Happiness

'Pain is bad, right? In this fascinating book, Brock Bastian will convince you otherwise. Drawing on both vivid everyday examples and surprising laboratory findings, he shows how pain, suffering, and struggle give us pleasure, make us kinder, focus our thoughts, and give our life meaning' Paul Bloom, author of Against Empathy

In today's culture, happiness has become the new marker of success, while hardships are viewed as personal weaknesses, or problems to be fixed. We increasingly try to eradicate pain through medication and by insulating ourselves from risk and offence, despite being the safest generation to have ever lived. Yet in his research, renowned social psychologist Brock Bastian has found that suffering and sadness are neither antithetical to happiness nor incidental to it: they are a necessary ingredient for emotional well-being.

Drawing on psychology, neuroscience and internationally acclaimed findings from Bastian's own lab, The Other Side of Happiness encourages us to take a more fearless approach to living. The most thrilling moments of our lives are often balanced on a knife edge between pleasure and pain, whether it is finding your true love, holding your new-born for the first time, finishing a marathon or even plunging into an icy sea. This is because pain and the threat of loss quite literally increase our capacity for happiness, as Bastian reveals, making us stronger, more resilient, more connected to other people and more attuned to what truly matters. Pain even makes us more mindful, since in our darkest moments we are especially focused and aware of the world around us.

Our addiction to positivity and the pursuit of pleasure is actually making us miserable. Brock Bastian shows that, without some pain, we have no real way to achieve and appreciate the kind of happiness that is true and transcendent.

'Brock Bastian skilfully shatters the zeitgeist of positive thinking, showing how struggle and suffering are vital elements of a life well lived'

Adam Grant, author of ORIGINALS and OBTION B with Sheryl Sandberg

'If you're tired of all the simple minded books telling you to just cheer up and be happy, this is the book for you!' Roy F. Baumeister, author of WILLPOWER: REDISCOVERING THEGREATEST HUMAN STRENGTH

'Explains why hardship sometimes yields richer lives that are laden with meaning, deep social connections, and unexpected bliss. A beautifully written and important book that should be required reading for anyone who's ever wondered why well-being so oftenflourishes in unexpected places' Adam Alter, author of DRUNK TANK PINK

Reviews

Pain is bad, right? In this fascinating book, Brock Bastian will convince you otherwise. Drawing on both vivid everyday examples and surprising laboratory findings, he shows how pain, suffering, and struggle give us pleasure, make us kinder, focus our thoughts, and give our life meaning. Bastian is a brilliant researcher and deep thinker and THE OTHER SIDE OF HAPPINESS is a delight to read

—— Paul Bloom, author of AGAINST EMPATHY

Brock Bastian skilfully shatters the zeitgeist of positive thinking, showing how struggle and suffering are vital elements of a life well lived

—— Adam Grant, author of ORIGINALS and OPTION B with Sheryl Sandberg

This is a marvellous, thought-provoking challenge to how we think about and go about the pursuit of happiness. If you're tired of all the simple minded books telling you to just cheer up and be happy, this is the book for you!

—— Roy F. Baumeister, author of WILLPOWER: REDISCOVERING THE GREATEST HUMAN STRENGTH

Explains why hardship sometimes yields richer lives that are laden with meaning, deep social connections, and unexpected bliss. A beautifully written and important book that should be required reading for anyone who's ever wondered why well-being so often flourishes in unexpected places

—— Adam Alter, author of DRUNK TANK PINK

The moment is ripe for a reckoning, and Manne offers the language and theory I've found myself grasping for. . . She combines the hyper-articulateness of a philosopher and the energy and humor of a down-to-earth millennial, which is electrifying

—— Regan Penaluna , Guernica Magazine

A must-read. . . should be in every feminist's library. . . Down Girl is destined to become a feminist literary classic alongside the likes of The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf or Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique

—— Jennifer Taylor Skinner , The Electorette

Really excellent. . . timely and intellectually rigorous

—— Nigel Warburton

Kate Manne does a jaw-droppingly brilliant job of explaining gender and power dynamics which have always been purposefully muddied, but which shape how and to whom sympathy and presumptions of full humanity accrue. . . Perceptive, bold, stylishly written and bracingly clear eyed, Down Girl is one of the best books I have ever read on gender and power; I will never stop learning from it

—— Rebecca Traister, author of Good and Mad

An exciting next-generation feminist philosopher

—— Elizabeth Anderson

Down Girl is excruciatingly well-timed, providing a theoretical framework for a phenomenon baring itself before us, perverse and pervasive. . . It reminds us that while revealing individual misogynists is hard, uprooting misogyny is much harder

—— Carlos Lozada , Washington Post

Brilliant! It describes with sparkling emotional intelligence everything that is real about decision-making. Full of fire, passion, science and judgement, truly a giant contribution to research'

—— Professor Jonathan Crego

Where the book really shines is in its ability to seamlessly weave together the three strands: personal life, firefighting life and her incredible work into decision-making . . . Fascinating.

—— Clifford Thompson, author of 'Falling Through Fire'

The Heat of the Moment provides a unique personal insight into the world of the firefighter. The author’s experiences are presented in a frank and revealing way, and combined with insights from her broad understanding of academic psychology. The result is an inspirational and illuminating read.

—— Professor Rob Honey, University of Cardiff

A compelling book from start to finish. Cohen-Hatton uses her own experiences as a firefighter to expose the psychology behind her decisions and emotions. A great read and accessible to all.

—— Phil Butler, University of Cardiff

A compelling and exciting read. A great insight into decision-making on the front line of firefighting . . . Immersive stories, tension and fantastic lessons to take away. I loved it!

—— Flt Lt (Rtd) Mandy Hickson, former RAF Tornado pilot

One of the UK's most senior firefighters share heart-in-the-mouth stories from her 18 years in the emergency services, taking us to the very heat of battle; from scenes of devastation and crisis, to the quieter moments when these unassuming heroes question both themselves and the decisions they are forced to make. As we all as being extraordinarily courageous, Cohen-Hatton has an impressive professional track record: her award winning research into decision-making in the emergency services has transformed policy at a global level.

—— The Bookseller

A fascinating read

—— Dan Walker , BBC Breakfast

This book is incredible!

—— Louise Minchin , BBC Breakfast

WOW! I just could not put it down! . . . It will enlighten people about the human aspects of firefighting, the challenges of decision-making under pressure and the way in which university research has helped to understand and improve the way leaders approach critical decisions. It’s certainly made me think about how I can use the principles discussed to help people in a variety of leadership positions.

—— Karen Holford, Deputy Vice-Chancellor of Cardiff University

This book will change the way you think. Forever.

—— Cosmpolitan

As well as being a fire-fighter, she’s a fire-thinker, and that’s what makes this book stand out.

—— Daily Mail

An inspiring, vivid account of the dangerous world of firefighting

—— Jane Shilling , Daily Mail

Wang . . . eloquently balances personal narrative and empirical research to offer a powerful series of insights into a woefully misunderstood world.

—— SF Weekly

This beautifully written work will expand your thinking about severe mental illness and mental illness in general

—— Rewire.News

The Collected Schizophrenias is illumination and important--not only because it educates and challenges--but because it forces us to consider how much we still have to work to undo historical and systematic damage, to challenge our own broken, misguided partiality towards what it means to be healthy and sane

—— The Arkansas International

[The Collected Schizophrenias] organizes the confusion, terror and complexity of [Wang's] experience into an imperfectly cohesive, profoundly illuminating whole.

—— Shelf Awareness

Penetrating and revelatory.

—— Publisher's Weekly

This mesmerizing collection of essays has achieved the rarest of rarities--a meaningful and expansive language for a subject that has been long bound by both deep revulsion and intense fascination

—— Jenny Zhang

A brilliant guide to the complexities of thinking about illness, and mental illness, in particular. It will bring hope to others searching to understand their own diagnoses

—— Meghan O'Rourke

A masterful braiding of the achingly personal and the incisively researched. . . . This book is a vital, illuminating window onto the world we all already live in, but find all too easy to ignore

—— Alexandra Kleeman

You won't find any pity-baiting, sensationalism, or false positivity here; Wang is so candidly aware that I'd trust her over my own diary

—— Tony Tulathimutte

Esmé Weijun Wang offers us an all-access pass to her beautiful, unquiet mind. . . Rarely has a book about living with mental illness felt so immediate, raw, and powerful

—— Dani Shapiro

The Collected Schizophrenias is at once generous and brilliantly nuanced, rigorous and bold. It had me rethinking what it is to be well or ill.

—— R.O. Kwon

Esmé Weijun Wang sends out revelatory dispatches from an under-mapped land, shot like arrows in all directions from a taut bow of a mind. . . . Her work changes the way we think about illness - which is to say that it changes us

—— Whiting Award Selection Committee

A remarkable book - intelligent, impassioned, consistently moving - that can’t help but make readers revisit the sharpest spikes of life, where nurses often are. Christie Watson looks directly at the fragility of human existence, and the importance of what we choose to value. I can't think of many better uses of writing, nor of writing more likely to make me a better person

—— Richard Beard

I defy anyone to finish this without weeping and giving thanks to the NHS ... An important book that should be on every reading list

—— Fanny Blake , Woman & Home

Christie Watson’s book brings home the incredible strength and determination that nurses working in our critically underfunded NHS must possess – and how wildly underappreciated they are

—— Rachael Jolley, Editor, Index on Censorship

Gripping and tender

—— Radio Times

A remarkable reflection on care, empathy and compassion ... packs massive emotional impact ... I urge you to read it

—— Caroline Sanderson , The Bookseller

This tender, truth-telling memoir will break your heart into little pieces ... This book is a salient reminder that at some point we are all going to need care and we can only hope we'll get someone like Christie who understands the need for "sympathy, compassion, empathy" in our most vulnerable moments

—— Eithne Farry , The Simple Things

The award-winning novelist writes about her 20 years as a nurse, taking us from life to death of the wards in a moving account

—— Hannah Beckerman , Sunday Express

As Watson observes, the ability to step into another’s shoes is essential for both nurse and novelist. So too is an eagle eye, and it is the details that prove so unforgettable ... I found myself compelled to go back, and freshly moved and humbled

—— Stephanie Cross , The Lady

A highly emotional and eloquent retelling of different patients, staffers, experiences and departments ... A much-needed human voice

—— Tanya Sweeney , The Irish Times

[Watson] writes with such considered awareness of medical procedure and resources, human frailty and resilience, that you know she dug deep for this book ... You are also privy to an extraordinary world and appreciate Watson's lasting belief: that most of us are inherently kind - and the better for showing it

—— Kerry Fowler , Sainsbury's Magazine

The Language of Kindness is teeming with humanity ... [It] puts other memoirs to shame, by narrating an ordinary working life which nevertheless confronts the dark, the sublime, the transcendental

—— Roisin Kiberd , Sunday Business Post

Her book makes harrowing, heart-rendering reading.

—— Helen Brown , Daily Mail

An engaging and authentic portrait of modern care ... Through Watson’s inclusion of relevant statistics and historical facts, as well as her meticulous observation skills, readers will better understand the value of nurses

—— Library Journal

Hypnotic prose ... quiet brilliance ... This is a wake-up book in the best possible way, a study in-the-round: amusing, hilarious even, enthralling and sad, and definitely an indictment of our time

—— The Arts Desk

We hear far less often from nurses and therapists… It’s time we heard their side of the story. And who better to tell it than this nurse-turned-award-winning literary novelist.

—— Charlotte Heathcote , Sunday Express

Anecdotal story-telling wrapped up in hypnotic prose… This is a wake-up book in the best possible way, a study in-the-round: amusing, hilarious even, enthralling and sad, and definitely an indictment of our time.

—— Marina Vaizey , The Arts Desk

A remarkable book. I learned more in chapter 3 than I have in all the other books I’ve read this year. Watson illustrates why a nurse has a harder job than 99 per cent of lawyers (I am one) and deserves to be paid more. Absolutely brilliant!

—— Clive Stafford Smith OBE, human rights lawyer

The Language of Kindness flows so beautifully, and naturally. Christie adds real warmth to very factual, and medical information … I urge all of you to read this book

—— Five Little Doves

[Watson] beautifully describes the life-affirming impact of nurses doing and saying the right thing

—— Strong Words

[Watson] tells us things we need to know

—— Chisholm , The Tablet

[The Language of Kindness is] a tender and beautifully written account of how this process – learning how to be kind – challenges, teaches, sometimes harms, and then completes a person

—— Peter Dorward , Telegraph

At the heart of Christie Watson’s philanthropic memoir…lies a remarkable thesis on life, death and the kaleidoscopic narratives…that weave us together

—— Kat Lister , The Pool

This stunning read reminds us that nurses are human after all

—— Jude Rogers , Mail on Sunday

Christie Watson's memoir of 20 years as an NHS nurse is completely absorbing. The best books tell us about life as well as lives and I've read nothing recently that I found so moving and, even in its descriptions of suffering and death, so uplifting. Watson has an eye for detail that is practical, compassionate and very often funny

—— Lucy Lethbridge , The Tablet

Christie captures life as a nurse in the humblest manner, and anyone in or considering nursing is encouraged to read it

—— Julia Williams , Gastrointestinal Nursing

Watson’s prose…fizzes with real life, each story and encounter containing its own epic narrative sweep

—— Lucy Lethbridge , The Oldie

This brilliant and profound book left an indelible mark on me this year

—— Ian Birrell , i

Moving and compassionate…The Language of Kindness… is a sensitive, perceptive and blunt account of a nurse’s journey

—— Richard Barr , Solicitors Journal

An astounding account of life as a nurse

—— Liz Nice , Eastern Daily Press

The Language of Kindness exerts the power of a gripping novel threaded with science, philosophy, history and ethics. Like poetry, it resists paraphrase. A quick summary is out of the question, this brilliant life-changing book has to be experienced.

—— Martina Evans , Irish Times

Watson evokes the topography of each arm of nursing in vivid detail.

—— Irish Times

I defy anyone to finish this without weeping and giving thanks for the NHS… An important book that should be on every reading list.

—— Fanny Blake , Woman & Home

The Language of Kindness could not be more compelling or more welcome. It's about how we survive, and about the people who help us do so

—— Roxana Robinson , New York Times Book Review

[A] powerful account of her life as a nurse… reading her memoir is a truly uplifting experience.

—— Jacqueline Wilson , The Week

A nurse’s voice has never really been heard before on this scale. Now’s the time for it to ring loud.

—— Stylist

[Watson] is an elegant, eloquent writer who brings an immediacy to her work. You are right there beside her all the way as she provides a fascinating insight into the trails and triumphs of life in an NHS hospital… a rallying call for kindness and compassion that every one of us should embrace.

—— Mernie Gilmore , Sunday Express

Through Watson, we are taken on an absorbing, all-seeing tour through the doors of the hospital

—— Molly Case , Guardian
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