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What Do You Say After You Say Hello
What Do You Say After You Say Hello
Oct 10, 2024 10:24 AM

Author:Eric Berne

What Do You Say After You Say Hello

AS RECOMMENDED BY PHILIPPA PERRY IN THE GUARDIAN:

'This is about learning what adaptations you may unconsciously have built up throughout your life and how much easier it is to connect after we have let those defences go'

Have you ever met someone who seems to get their way in every conversation they have? This book explains why. From the multimillion-bestselling author of GAMES PEOPLE PLAY and one of the godfathers of modern psychology, perfect for fans of Philippa Perry, Dale Carnegie and James Clear.

'Moreinteresting and ambitious than his best-selling"Games People Play,"... the primary virtue of Berne's descriptions is... theircomprehensibility and accessibility. Eric Berne has [offered] therapy to many thousands and [provided]advice and counsel to millions more.' - NEW YORK TIMES

What Readers are saying:

***** - 'This book changed my life; reading it helped me to identify the life scripts that I was unconsciously following.'

***** - 'With almost every page my understanding of human conversation improved by an insane amount.'

***** - 'If you want to communicate well and to understand yourself - and other people - better, you ab-so-lu-te-ly need to read Eric Berne.'

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This book explains what makes the winners win, the losers lose, and the in-betweens so boring...

In it, Dr Eric Berne reveals how everyone's life follows a predetermined script - a script they compose for themselves during early childhood.

The script may be a sad one, it may be a successful one; it decides how a person will relate to his colleagues, what sort of person he will marry, how many children he will have, and even what sort of bed he will die in...

What Do You Say After You Say Hello? demonstrates how each life script gets written, how it works and, more important, how anyone can improvise or change his script to make a happy ending...

Reviews

It is a hugely important book - and the story is very well told. Plomin's writing combines passion with reason (and passion for reason) so fluently that it is hard to believe this is his first book for popular consumption, after more than 800 scientific publications. His story is crucial.

—— Matt Ridley , The Times

An important book, a must-read guide to one enormous aspect of the human future

—— Bryan Appleyard , Sunday Times

I cannot tell you how well thumbed this book is . . . every single person listening to me qualifies to read this book because it's about human beings . . . this is our story

—— Jo Good , BBC Radio London

A challenging and thought-provoking new book.

—— Daily Mail

Important new evidence in a never-ending argument

—— The Evening Standard

You can't read the book without seeing the world afresh.

—— Andrew Anthony , Observer (Books of the Year)

An extraordinary book

—— Stephen Sackur , BBC HARDtalk

Plomin writes with authority about the ongoing genomic revolution that will unquestionably transform our lives and society.

—— Steven Mithen , The Guardian

No-one should be making any proposals about how to improve education without being aware of the contents of, and ideally having read, Robert Plomin's new book, Blueprint. Uncomfortable, but essential reading.

—— Dylan William, Emeritus Professor at the Institute of Education

Plomin takes recent genetic research and draws some provocative conclusions.

—— Andrew Anthony , The Guardian

What Plomin is saying at the moment is controversial, but it is a message that every teacher needs to at least consider carefully and objectively.

—— Jon Severs , Times Educational Supplement

A clear and engaging explanation of one of the hottest (and most interesting) fields in science, by perhaps its most distinguished practitioner

—— Steven Pinker, Johnstone Professor of Psychology, Harvard University, and author of The Blank Slate and Enlightenment Now

Some blueprint, that creates the rainbow spectrum of humanity! Plomin is a masterful teacher as well as brilliant scientist. He coolly lays out the astonishing new evidence that genetic differences matter far more than environmental ones in producing individual differences in ability and character, and argues passionately that, if we want to build a fair society, we must plan accordingly

—— Nicholas Humphrey, Emeritus Professor of Psychology, London School of Economics

This fascinating book, by the doyen of behavioural genetics, provides a superb introduction to the genetics of who we are. It is beautifully written and very challenging, but it is a challenge that we all need to reflect on

—— Sir Richard Layard, emeritus professor of economics at LSE and the author of Happiness and Thrive

Robert Plomin's research has been educating us about environmental and genetic influences on psychological characteristics for decades. This is an accessible and pacy summary of the field's accumulated results, with provocative future-gazing on the uses of genetic material for prediction about people's lives

—— Ian Deary, professor of differential psychology at the University of Edinburgh

Robert Plomin's engaging book, drawing on his 35 years of research experience, makes the complex field of behavioural genetics accessible for a non-expert reader. An important work, Blueprint calls for a society-wide conversation to debate the ethics of this new knowledge and our responsibilities, as this shouldn't just be left in the hands of geneticists

—— Simon Baron-Cohen, Director of the Autism Research Centre at Cambridge University and author of Zero Degrees of Empathy

If anyone is going to write a book that challenges deeply held beliefs about who we are, it is Plomin: a psychologist with 45 years' experience in research, but with an undimmed passion for his subject.

—— David James , Tes Magazine

Plomin finally finds himself at the crest of the wave as cutting edge research begins to back what have long been theories and hypotheses.

—— Guardian Books podcast

WOW! I just could not put it down! . . . It will enlighten people about the human aspects of firefighting, the challenges of decision-making under pressure and the way in which university research has helped to understand and improve the way leaders approach critical decisions. It’s certainly made me think about how I can use the principles discussed to help people in a variety of leadership positions.

—— Karen Holford, Deputy Vice-Chancellor of Cardiff University

This book will change the way you think. Forever.

—— Cosmpolitan

As well as being a fire-fighter, she’s a fire-thinker, and that’s what makes this book stand out.

—— Daily Mail

An inspiring, vivid account of the dangerous world of firefighting

—— Jane Shilling , Daily Mail

Wang . . . eloquently balances personal narrative and empirical research to offer a powerful series of insights into a woefully misunderstood world.

—— SF Weekly

This beautifully written work will expand your thinking about severe mental illness and mental illness in general

—— Rewire.News

The Collected Schizophrenias is illumination and important--not only because it educates and challenges--but because it forces us to consider how much we still have to work to undo historical and systematic damage, to challenge our own broken, misguided partiality towards what it means to be healthy and sane

—— The Arkansas International

[The Collected Schizophrenias] organizes the confusion, terror and complexity of [Wang's] experience into an imperfectly cohesive, profoundly illuminating whole.

—— Shelf Awareness

Penetrating and revelatory.

—— Publisher's Weekly

This mesmerizing collection of essays has achieved the rarest of rarities--a meaningful and expansive language for a subject that has been long bound by both deep revulsion and intense fascination

—— Jenny Zhang

A brilliant guide to the complexities of thinking about illness, and mental illness, in particular. It will bring hope to others searching to understand their own diagnoses

—— Meghan O'Rourke

A masterful braiding of the achingly personal and the incisively researched. . . . This book is a vital, illuminating window onto the world we all already live in, but find all too easy to ignore

—— Alexandra Kleeman

You won't find any pity-baiting, sensationalism, or false positivity here; Wang is so candidly aware that I'd trust her over my own diary

—— Tony Tulathimutte

Esmé Weijun Wang offers us an all-access pass to her beautiful, unquiet mind. . . Rarely has a book about living with mental illness felt so immediate, raw, and powerful

—— Dani Shapiro

The Collected Schizophrenias is at once generous and brilliantly nuanced, rigorous and bold. It had me rethinking what it is to be well or ill.

—— R.O. Kwon

Esmé Weijun Wang sends out revelatory dispatches from an under-mapped land, shot like arrows in all directions from a taut bow of a mind. . . . Her work changes the way we think about illness - which is to say that it changes us

—— Whiting Award Selection Committee

A remarkable book - intelligent, impassioned, consistently moving - that can’t help but make readers revisit the sharpest spikes of life, where nurses often are. Christie Watson looks directly at the fragility of human existence, and the importance of what we choose to value. I can't think of many better uses of writing, nor of writing more likely to make me a better person

—— Richard Beard

I defy anyone to finish this without weeping and giving thanks to the NHS ... An important book that should be on every reading list

—— Fanny Blake , Woman & Home

Christie Watson’s book brings home the incredible strength and determination that nurses working in our critically underfunded NHS must possess – and how wildly underappreciated they are

—— Rachael Jolley, Editor, Index on Censorship

Gripping and tender

—— Radio Times

A remarkable reflection on care, empathy and compassion ... packs massive emotional impact ... I urge you to read it

—— Caroline Sanderson , The Bookseller

This tender, truth-telling memoir will break your heart into little pieces ... This book is a salient reminder that at some point we are all going to need care and we can only hope we'll get someone like Christie who understands the need for "sympathy, compassion, empathy" in our most vulnerable moments

—— Eithne Farry , The Simple Things

The award-winning novelist writes about her 20 years as a nurse, taking us from life to death of the wards in a moving account

—— Hannah Beckerman , Sunday Express

As Watson observes, the ability to step into another’s shoes is essential for both nurse and novelist. So too is an eagle eye, and it is the details that prove so unforgettable ... I found myself compelled to go back, and freshly moved and humbled

—— Stephanie Cross , The Lady

A highly emotional and eloquent retelling of different patients, staffers, experiences and departments ... A much-needed human voice

—— Tanya Sweeney , The Irish Times

[Watson] writes with such considered awareness of medical procedure and resources, human frailty and resilience, that you know she dug deep for this book ... You are also privy to an extraordinary world and appreciate Watson's lasting belief: that most of us are inherently kind - and the better for showing it

—— Kerry Fowler , Sainsbury's Magazine

The Language of Kindness is teeming with humanity ... [It] puts other memoirs to shame, by narrating an ordinary working life which nevertheless confronts the dark, the sublime, the transcendental

—— Roisin Kiberd , Sunday Business Post

Her book makes harrowing, heart-rendering reading.

—— Helen Brown , Daily Mail

An engaging and authentic portrait of modern care ... Through Watson’s inclusion of relevant statistics and historical facts, as well as her meticulous observation skills, readers will better understand the value of nurses

—— Library Journal

Hypnotic prose ... quiet brilliance ... This is a wake-up book in the best possible way, a study in-the-round: amusing, hilarious even, enthralling and sad, and definitely an indictment of our time

—— The Arts Desk

We hear far less often from nurses and therapists… It’s time we heard their side of the story. And who better to tell it than this nurse-turned-award-winning literary novelist.

—— Charlotte Heathcote , Sunday Express

Anecdotal story-telling wrapped up in hypnotic prose… This is a wake-up book in the best possible way, a study in-the-round: amusing, hilarious even, enthralling and sad, and definitely an indictment of our time.

—— Marina Vaizey , The Arts Desk

A remarkable book. I learned more in chapter 3 than I have in all the other books I’ve read this year. Watson illustrates why a nurse has a harder job than 99 per cent of lawyers (I am one) and deserves to be paid more. Absolutely brilliant!

—— Clive Stafford Smith OBE, human rights lawyer

The Language of Kindness flows so beautifully, and naturally. Christie adds real warmth to very factual, and medical information … I urge all of you to read this book

—— Five Little Doves

[Watson] beautifully describes the life-affirming impact of nurses doing and saying the right thing

—— Strong Words

[Watson] tells us things we need to know

—— Chisholm , The Tablet

[The Language of Kindness is] a tender and beautifully written account of how this process – learning how to be kind – challenges, teaches, sometimes harms, and then completes a person

—— Peter Dorward , Telegraph

At the heart of Christie Watson’s philanthropic memoir…lies a remarkable thesis on life, death and the kaleidoscopic narratives…that weave us together

—— Kat Lister , The Pool

This stunning read reminds us that nurses are human after all

—— Jude Rogers , Mail on Sunday

Christie Watson's memoir of 20 years as an NHS nurse is completely absorbing. The best books tell us about life as well as lives and I've read nothing recently that I found so moving and, even in its descriptions of suffering and death, so uplifting. Watson has an eye for detail that is practical, compassionate and very often funny

—— Lucy Lethbridge , The Tablet

Christie captures life as a nurse in the humblest manner, and anyone in or considering nursing is encouraged to read it

—— Julia Williams , Gastrointestinal Nursing

Watson’s prose…fizzes with real life, each story and encounter containing its own epic narrative sweep

—— Lucy Lethbridge , The Oldie

This brilliant and profound book left an indelible mark on me this year

—— Ian Birrell , i

Moving and compassionate…The Language of Kindness… is a sensitive, perceptive and blunt account of a nurse’s journey

—— Richard Barr , Solicitors Journal

An astounding account of life as a nurse

—— Liz Nice , Eastern Daily Press

The Language of Kindness exerts the power of a gripping novel threaded with science, philosophy, history and ethics. Like poetry, it resists paraphrase. A quick summary is out of the question, this brilliant life-changing book has to be experienced.

—— Martina Evans , Irish Times

Watson evokes the topography of each arm of nursing in vivid detail.

—— Irish Times

I defy anyone to finish this without weeping and giving thanks for the NHS… An important book that should be on every reading list.

—— Fanny Blake , Woman & Home

The Language of Kindness could not be more compelling or more welcome. It's about how we survive, and about the people who help us do so

—— Roxana Robinson , New York Times Book Review

[A] powerful account of her life as a nurse… reading her memoir is a truly uplifting experience.

—— Jacqueline Wilson , The Week

A nurse’s voice has never really been heard before on this scale. Now’s the time for it to ring loud.

—— Stylist

[Watson] is an elegant, eloquent writer who brings an immediacy to her work. You are right there beside her all the way as she provides a fascinating insight into the trails and triumphs of life in an NHS hospital… a rallying call for kindness and compassion that every one of us should embrace.

—— Mernie Gilmore , Sunday Express

Through Watson, we are taken on an absorbing, all-seeing tour through the doors of the hospital

—— Molly Case , Guardian
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